Just read another baby-care book titled Babycalming- Simple Solutions for a happy Baby by Caroline Deacon, which mentioned that
'Most people who favour extinction (controlled crying) as a method claim it does work - that the baby will eventually stop crying out in the night (I believe this as well). But we don't really know what the long-term effect of this short-term gain is likely to be'.
It had been argued that leaving a baby to cry: 1)take away his desire to communicate;2) makes him lose trust in you; 3)could damaging your baby's emerging self-esteem.
This coincided with the Steve Biddulph's book Raising Babes I read early, which mentioned a perceived 'good' baby who doesn't cry might just be a withdrawled baby, a convenient baby for parents. That' why he argued that early nursery attending will have the damaging effect on a baby's emotional intelligence, as even the best nursery carer will be unable to provide that kind of timely response for a baby's cry as it is not a one-to-one situation, also the nursery staff are normally required not to be emotional involved with a child to maitain their professional stance, while what babes need in their first 3 years' life is the intensive input of love from parents. You can't outsource love.
Wrote this just o record what I have read lately. I have read quite a bit books lately on childcare and baby development. Baby Sign- How to talk to your bay before she can talk to you; Baby's First Year; the secrete language of babes; Suppernanny. I have never read so intensively on a subject in such a short period of time since the departure of university, not even on my professional area, which I've read quite a bit and accumulate 3 boxes of books and papers, but all at work ( have never read a structural engineering book at home)all been done over the years. It's not that I want to become a childcare expert or child psychologist, I simply find all these parenting books are fascinating and useful. Years ago when I was child-free, I would give a loud sniff to my child-rearing friends' taking the plunge into the sea of parenting books as I believed that parenting is just a natural low-grade stuff and you don't need a child psychology degree to do that, but now I am doing exactly the same myself. We all want the best for our child after all.
There are more to read, like this one How to survive the terrible twos - Dairy of a mother under siege which I borrowed today from library. Better be prepared (though a bit early for Daniel!)
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3 comments:
I admire you!
I haven't read any parenting books at all. If I had any free time, I would surf internet, sorting out photos, do my emails or blog... In fact, I hardly read at all since I married Mark. :( At least Mark still loves reading, luckily. The research shows that whether children love reading or not depends mainly on the father. Thank heavens for that. :)
Any tips on how to deal with terrible twos? Quick, pass them on to me before I bash my forehead again!
Also, your library is very good. Whenever I went to the library (before I had kids), all the books I wanted were forever on loan. So I gave up. Maybe I should go again and see whether they have improved.
You write a lot though! ;)
Like Mark, Terry loves reading too. I am probably under his influence a bit. He reads a lot of computing books though. Working in IT involves updating knowledge quite often. Luckily I work in a field which knowledge base is not envolving so fast. Remember coupe years ago when we were invited to have dinner in my boss's house, Terry mentioned to my boss that I had never read any structural books at home, instead I just read fashin magazine. Lucky my boss was left that company that time, otherwise I would worried what he would think about me professionally.
The library here is quite good now, I push Daniel to there every Wendesday morning, either for playgroup or just having coffee, borrowing some books. It has been refubished recently and installed the self-service station, which allow you to borrow/renew/return books by just scanning books and inserting your library card, so no waiting and fast and easy.
Regarding to the tips from How to survive the terrible twos. I haven't read it yet. Will read and write about it later, as we are going down Brighton tomorrow to see Daniel's groudparents and pcik up the girls at southampton, will coming back Monday. so there will be blog-free for me for a few days.
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