I'm sure Daniel would probably be fully capable of sleeping on his own if I had practised a bit controlled-crying or I had been toughened up a bit more on him. I've been camping besides Daniel's cot for two weeks offering him my hands to hold whenever he woke up. He was doing fine and slept well, but I felt as if something missing on me, then I realised that I was genuinely missing the closeness it felt when a baby curling up towards me.
Some two weeks ago, I have finished reading another parenting book Titled The Science of Parenting by Margot Suderland, a practical guidance on sleep, crying, play and building emotional wellbeing for life backed by solid evidence from latest brain research into the impact of parenting on children's brain development and the experience of real families. It is a 280-pages thick book with lots neurological term to explain why particular parenting style is better for the child's developing brain and I read it letter by letter. In this book it states:
Sleeping in close physical proximity to a parent provides a baby with a sensorially rich environment because of all the movement, touch, smells and sounds. Skin-to-skin contact throughout in the night has been shown to regulate a baby's immature body and brain systems and can play a key role in maintaining his long-term mental and physical wellbeing. Extensive research shows close bodily contact between mothers and infants will regulate the infant's body temperature, metabolic rate and hormone levels, enzyme production, heart rate and immune system
( No wonder that it never heard Sudden Infant Death Syndrome in China where co-sleeping is the norm)
I was thinking: ' what I have done ! Instead of pressurizing myself to meet some fictitious norm, I should have just followed my own instinct to co-sleep with Daniel until he is no longer need my help to stay sleep!' That's where we are now: Daniel sleeps in the cot from 6pm to 10pm when I go to bed, from 10pm onwards he sleeps with me in our spare bedroom again.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
That explains why Isaac still gets up in the middle of the night looking for me... Little kids do want their mommy near them.
I also think it could be parents selfishness that caused all this "sleeping with the baby is bad habit" theory. But the truth is, I couldn't sleep when Isaac is around me. For my own sanity, I have to send him back to his bed.
Anyway, follow your heart and just do whatever you think is right.
Aparently lots of reserach show that the stress hormones in a young child's brain are very high in the absence of his mother, that's why they argued that nursery-attending is a bad thing for child under 3, they migh look fine or happy when they are in the nursery, but the stress chemical in their brain is very high and some of them can't bring the stress level down even in the evening when they back home....
I have to say I would rather sleep next to my husband than next to my child... But it's so different for everyone. Oskar never settled in our bed, even as a newborn. He's always been sleeping separately and now he's got grandma in his room, so he's content.
Grandma in the same room with Oskar made all that diffrence on bringing down his stress of being left alone...
Post a Comment