Just as I was thinking that Daniel had behaved very well since December, he threw three major tantrums today, one in public.
Daniel was so looking forward to go the playgroup this morning as they shut for Christmas. Today is the first day when they re-started. At start Daniel was so happy that he engaged in playing so intensely. He played kitchen for a while and moved on to a plastic playhouse, i was talking to Joane, Daniel wanted me to watch him 'Ma watching you (me)... Ma watching you...'. Following his order I squatted down but was still talking to Joane. Daniel screamed 'Don't like ma talking... Don't like Ma talking...' A little girl walked into the playhouse, Daniel immediately protested:'It's baby's house...' and looked my way hoping I do something about it. I told him:' share it... it's every one's' Daniel said' Don't like every one's...' Daniel abandoned the playhouse and moved on to a toy lawn mower and i continued to talk to Joane , Daniel suddenly burst into tears and cried so loud for no reason, i went to pick him up trying to cuddle him only to realized that it was too late, he was so worked-up, he was sobbing 'Don't want ma cuddle... don't want ma cuddle... Ma standing there...' i put him down and stood where he pointed, he cried even louder. In the hindsight now when I am writing this , I think I should give him the full attention straight away, he probably just want me to do pretend play with him.
The afternoon one was at home and it was a major tantrum. Daniel cried so hysterically in the rage, because i refused to give him his dummy. I have to physically restrain him in case he hurt himself. He cried so long but I was just holding him tight in my arm. i was torn by the two ideas: should I just give in, I know I could just give him his dummy, the storm will go quickly, but i scared that if i do, am i sending a message to him that tantrum always works; On the other hand i was torn to see Daniel in such a state, a state seemingly like being in torture. I love Daniel more than anything else. In the back of my mind, I can hear a voice say' is it worthy it?'It's so hard to get the balance right in such a situation
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4 comments:
I think it's just that stage of life called terrible two. It's caused mainly by the language barrier I think. They have trouble expressing themselves and making them understood, so they get frustrated easily and tantrum is the way for them to release frustration.
Isaac had pretty bad terrible two stage. Now he talks well and he is so much happier and easier.
But I found Isaac also demands full attention on him when he talks to me or wants to show me something. He always says "Look at me!" when he talks to anyone. He loves eye contact and if I don't look at him when he is talking or showing me something, he would get very upset too, even now.
I prefer this way than "no eye contact".
Don't worry, Daniel will get over this stage soon.
I forgot to say, when Isaac had tantrums, my policy was always not to give in. If in public, I would talk to him very firmly and seriously. If that didn't work, I just ignored him and he would get over it (it's not uncommon to see screaming kids in the shopping centre, so I wasn't worried.) If it happened in the house, I just ignored him until he settled down, then I talked to him about it.
Have you introduced "time out"? We found our "naughty chair" quite effective for kids to calm down.
Daniel's tantraums are not normally caused by the touble of expressing himself. He is really good at express his will. He throws tantraum mainly because he cant get his way. He is trying to bend the known universe to his will. ;)
Just back to England from trip to China, didnt have chances to blog while in CHina. Will write more about the travel once I got over from jet leg. First day back to work as well...
You are back!!!
Look forward to reading your stories and seeing the photos!
You have a good rest first. :)
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